Finding Your Dharma: How I Uncovered My True Calling

In this post, I share my framework for finding your dharma (true calling), moving from the exhaustion of performing for cultural expectations to living with authentic purpose and alignment.

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Last week, I shared how fear followed me everywhere, shaping my life and career. Today, I want to take you deeper: into the internal dialogue and realizations that helped me transform that fear into clarity, purpose, and action

Growing up, as the daughter of Indian immigrants who built everything from nothing, I trusted their wisdom when they told me I couldn’t make a comfortable living as a teacher.

I internalized their fear, their practicality, their sacrifice — and without realizing it, I quietly buried the dream.

Even when friends or family suggested I pursue an alternative path, like becoming a college professor, I brushed it aside. That role would mean facing my fear every day: being exposed as “not enough” in a room full of adults.

So I stayed small. I stayed safe.

But recently, I started looking deeper for my dharma.

The Inner Dialogue for Finding My True Calling

(Note – I speak to myself as “you” in my internal dialogue. It’s how I’ve coached myself my whole life.)

Why do you want to be a teacher?
Because I like kids.

But there are plenty of jobs with kids — why teaching?
Because… I like to teach.

Why?
Because I want to help people understand things.

Why?
Because I want to give people clarity and knowledge that could help them.

Okay, if that’s true, then what subject would you teach?
I suppose Math, Science, English.

Why those?
Because I understand them well.

But beyond that… why teach them?
*Shrugs* To seem smart? To seem accomplished?

Well, that’s external. Why do YOU want to teach them?
I guess…I don’t particularly care for them.

And that’s when the toughest question arrived:

Okay… then what is your dharma?

Distinguishing My True Calling from Expectations

For most of my adulthood, I believed my true calling was to be a mother.

I imagined raising children who could break generational cycles — kids I could guide into intentional, authentic, meaningful lives.

But then I told myself the truth I hadn’t wanted to face: I get bored after playing with kids for a few hours. I always have…So then why did motherhood feel like my true calling?

Because I wanted to guide. Because I wanted to teach. Because I wanted to shape a meaningful life.

And that’s when it clicked:

My dharma wasn’t motherhood itself.
My dharma was guiding.
My dharma was teaching.
My dharma was empowering people to live with purpose and authenticity.

It had never been about just kids. It had always been about humans.

The Mindset Shift: Evolving My Dharma

So…do you still want to be a teacher?
Yes. But not in a classroom. Not with traditional school subjects or lesson plans.

I want to teach intentional living.
I want to guide people back to their voice, their values, and their truth.
I want to help people unlearn performing and return to authenticity.

Facing My Fear: The Hidden Cost of Performing

And the fear? The visibility? The judgment?
Well…that’s childhood conditioning.

It began young — in the quietest ways, the ways no one would ever think twice about.
Every lack of composure or slip up was met with “why can’t you be more like your sister?”
There was no room for individuality. No room for vulnerability. Only mimicry and perfection.

And it followed me like a shadow.

When I was in college, I used to study in secret. I’d practice dances for Bollywood classes alone for hours. As a working professional, I’d prepare presentations days in advance — even the tiny ones that didn’t matter. I practiced the tone, the timing, the moments to pause.
Sometimes, I even rehearsed hard, vulnerable conversations with those whom I was close to.

I hid anything that felt imperfect — the jumbled words, the moments my mind blanked, the things everyone else seemed to know. I was scared someone would finally confirm what I already believed: that I wasn’t enough, that I wasn’t smart enough.
I only let people see the curated version — the one who breezed through life effortlessly.

But no one saw my fear.
No one saw how consumed I was by what my parents called my “characteristic careless mistakes.”
No one saw how my mind forced me to constantly perform being human.

The Mindset Shift: Strengths Are Enough To Live Your Purpose

Then, slowly, I reframed everything. Fear wasn’t reality — it was comparison, scarcity, the old belief that to lead, I had to excel at everything

What if I wasn’t meant to be defined by my weaknesses, but by the expression of my strengths?

• Razor-sharp analytical thinking
• Deep emotional intuition
• Ability to structure chaos and teach with clarity
• Natural instinct to guide others through inner work

Dharma teaches that every person has a unique role in the cosmic family. No role is better or worse; each is purposeful, necessary, and intentional.

Dharma doesn’t require you to be well-rounded. It requires you to be attuned only for the role you’re meant to play.

A singer doesn’t need to excel at science.
A healer doesn’t need to excel at psychology.
And a guide doesn’t need all the knowledge about the world — only what they were built to see and share.

My mind wasn’t built to memorize random facts about the world. It was built to understand people, read emotion, structure thought, and guide transformation.

Those are the very things my dharma requires.

The gaps I feared weren’t signs of failure. They were the trade-offs for my genius.

And with that mindset shift, fear began to lose its grip. I chose the Self over the fear. Alignment over perfection. Meaning over comfort.

My Framework for Intentional Living Coaching

Finding my dharma wasn’t a single moment of clarity; it was a series of intentional shifts in how I treated my own mind. Over the past few months, I’ve committed to a process that turned my fear into a compass:

• The Why-Audit: I dug into the deeper “why” behind every desire, to uncover the core values that truly drive me.
• Source-Tracing: I had to identify the origin of my fears, finally asking: Is this belief mine, or did I inherit it?
• The Script-Rewrite: I began actively dismantling the “invisible ceilings” and inherited expectations that kept me small.
• Alignment-Action: I started choosing alignment over comfort, taking small, intentional steps even when they shook me.
• Dharma-Evolution: I learned to trust my inner guide, allowing my purpose to grow as I acted on it.

It wasn’t easy. Alignment often feels uncomfortable at first. But each choice reinforced a pattern: my dharma expands as I act on it.

As Swami Vivekananda said:
“Just as the water flowing in the river is changing every moment, so the river of life is moving, and we are moving with it. Our duty is, therefore, also continually changing.”

Reclaiming My Voice → Finding Your Dharma

That’s why I’m here now — embracing my evolving dharma.

Not as a professor.
Not as a traditional teacher.
Not even just as a someday mother.

But as a guide. A teacher of intentional living. A life coach for authenticity, courage, and alignment.

Everything I’ve lived, reflected on, and acted upon is now the framework I bring to coaching. Next week, I’m sharing the specific details on this 5-step framework so you can begin breaking your own “invisible ceilings.”

From Performing to Purpose

If you read my story and felt a pang of recognition — if you’ve been studying in secret, rehearsing your conversations, or performing a version of yourself that feels “safe” but “small” — I want you to know that the exhaustion you feel isn’t from working hard. It’s from living out of alignment.

My dharma is to guide people like you out of the ‘performance’ and back into your power. I help high-achievers stop chasing well-roundedness and start being well-aligned.

💌 If you’re ready to step into your dharma, reclaim your voice, and live intentionally →
Apply for a free intentional living coaching session

Your voice is waiting. Let me help you reclaim it.